Read Aunt Chelsea's Advice!
Dear Aunt Chelsea,
How do you feel about cyber sex? I feel it is a significant alternative for singles; however,
what about for somebody who is married? Is it ok to "do" him or her?
Zara'
Dear Zara',
First of all, let’s define cyber sex. Any time you "meet" another person on the Internet (in
a chat room, for example, or through instant messaging) and exchange sexual words,
thoughts, feelings, fantasies, and images with the intention of arousing, and being
aroused by, that other person, you are engaging in a cyber sex relationship. It involves
give-and-take communication; in that sense, it is different from looking at Internet porn or
reading erotica.
I agree that cyber sex can be a good sexual outlet for single people. However, cyber sex
can become too much of a good thing if it keeps you from meeting a potential
sex/relationship partner in real life.
Cyber sex for married people can be a good thing, too. It can add excitement to a long-
term relationship. The key is for both spouses to agree on it and to participate openly. If
you find yourself slamming your laptop closed every time your significant other walks into
the room, you have a relationship problem. In any committed relationship, both partners
have to be able to communicate honestly, even about their most intimate sexual thoughts
and fantasies. Both partners must be able to trust one another.
Now let’s assume that you are single, but you want to participate in a cyber sex
relationship with someone who is married. Is the other person a friend, someone you
know in real life? If so, the decision to engage in a cyber sex relationship should be three-
way: between you, your friend, and that friend’s partner. It should be open and agreed
upon by all. Otherwise, consider it taboo. If, on the other hand, this is an anonymous
relationship with some stranger out there in cyberspace, you are not responsible for the
other person’s decisions.
Remember, we can’t always be sure that our cyber friends will stay cyber, so be careful
not to give out any personal information if you want to remain anonymous. And, if you
think you may have a problem with cyber sex addiction, you can go to http://no-porn.com
for information and help.
Thank you,
Your Aunt Chelsea
How do you feel about cyber sex? I feel it is a significant alternative for singles; however,
what about for somebody who is married? Is it ok to "do" him or her?
Zara'
Dear Zara',
First of all, let’s define cyber sex. Any time you "meet" another person on the Internet (in
a chat room, for example, or through instant messaging) and exchange sexual words,
thoughts, feelings, fantasies, and images with the intention of arousing, and being
aroused by, that other person, you are engaging in a cyber sex relationship. It involves
give-and-take communication; in that sense, it is different from looking at Internet porn or
reading erotica.
I agree that cyber sex can be a good sexual outlet for single people. However, cyber sex
can become too much of a good thing if it keeps you from meeting a potential
sex/relationship partner in real life.
Cyber sex for married people can be a good thing, too. It can add excitement to a long-
term relationship. The key is for both spouses to agree on it and to participate openly. If
you find yourself slamming your laptop closed every time your significant other walks into
the room, you have a relationship problem. In any committed relationship, both partners
have to be able to communicate honestly, even about their most intimate sexual thoughts
and fantasies. Both partners must be able to trust one another.
Now let’s assume that you are single, but you want to participate in a cyber sex
relationship with someone who is married. Is the other person a friend, someone you
know in real life? If so, the decision to engage in a cyber sex relationship should be three-
way: between you, your friend, and that friend’s partner. It should be open and agreed
upon by all. Otherwise, consider it taboo. If, on the other hand, this is an anonymous
relationship with some stranger out there in cyberspace, you are not responsible for the
other person’s decisions.
Remember, we can’t always be sure that our cyber friends will stay cyber, so be careful
not to give out any personal information if you want to remain anonymous. And, if you
think you may have a problem with cyber sex addiction, you can go to http://no-porn.com
for information and help.
Thank you,
Your Aunt Chelsea
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